): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
