so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
third nipple confirmed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
