.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Im part way to drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
