You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize