mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
love makes seman taste better
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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