Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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