So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
