ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
