there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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