That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
