My brain says no but my pants say off.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
