My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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