i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
