The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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