I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
