This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize