im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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