shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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