So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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