Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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