I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
