I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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