3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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