you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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