you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Drunk is a universal language darling
Verdict: uncircumcised.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
