Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
