Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
