New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All I want is dick and wine.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize