So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
