Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
