Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
