but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
