i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize