how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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