I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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