Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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