I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
