I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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