I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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