just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
