jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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