you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
