i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
how drunk are you?
Several
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
