explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
