I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
