I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
