Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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