4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
