i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
