dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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