Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
