So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
