YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
