David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
