wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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