i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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