is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
