..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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