One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
