who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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