Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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