You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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