Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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